As I've been thinking about writing and style, I looked back over some poems I have tucked away on my computer and thought I would let this one out of the box. I don't like its length, and I have no technique, but I like the sentiment.
The Party Blues
What comes over her
as the party approaches
is close to implosion.
Strange feelings
of misfit
canvas shoes
and argyle shorts
The possibility
of a dry
rasping in
her throat
while all around her
drown
in champagne
Play a dirge,
she cries.
She cannot
stomach anything else.
The h'or douvres
will pass
like sand
in an hourglass.
2 comments:
i like it (and can relate to it!). it reminds me of The Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock by TS Eliot. Especially the line, "In the room the women come and go, talking of michaelangelo". I love that line.
What don't you like about the length? I reckon it could be one stanza shorter.
Haha it's nowhere near Eliot, but thanks!
It's funny, I feel it's a bit abrupt, underdeveloped and has too many ideas.
I know what you mean though - the last stanza is like a second ending. Meh... i really need to study how to write poetry at some point.
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